When the feet feel the sand...

'Sometimes in life we sprint so far and fast until we realise it is a marathon whose end is never in sight' 

              Marcus Trescothick, Shaun Tait, Michael Yardy are cases of stress related burnout fresh in cricketing memory but there are many of us who are flirting with the borderline everyday. Thankfully, we get breaks from work in the form of lunches and coffees and of course, weekends.The final straw which triggered this post was Jonathan Trott's pulling out from the Ashes midway owing to stress related illness. Given the passion these guys have for the game, given the time they have spent with the bat and ball and given the amount of patience and tranquility that a player like Trotters has shown in his batting, it is quite surprising that they get depressed and burnt out.

These are not the only gentlemen in the gentleman's game who have complained of stress. There are many others who talk about it everyday and many more who break down during farewell speeches confessing how hard it has been. However, there is simply no questioning their love for the game.

But the question is - Are stress related burnouts common in places where passion meets profession?

The adage 'Too much of a thing is never too good' holds some part of the answer to our question.

Passion or not,the same thing done over longer time leads to boredom while quite paradoxically, it is about handling boredom that passion is all about. Is it the only cause for a burnout? Hardly. Prolonged periods of time away from home, prolonged periods of under-performance, prolonged periods of sustaining the top ranking and prolonged periods of anything can lead to a burnout. The watchword here is 'prolonged'. Long enough to get bored.

Too early but I would like to challenge my line of thought. Stress does not need years to burn you out. It may take just weeks or sometimes days, to reach the threshold. In more ways than one, the inevitable burnout is a blessing in disguise. It is the first point of realisation that something has been wrong with us all the while. It's the time of revelation that we have been fighting our inner demons and struggling in the battle. This realisation might take its own time - a hard two weeks of work or years of miserable passion. I call it a blessing because it is the point where you take a deep breath and start to swim towards the shore. And when you reach it, you will be ready to dive in and swim again. The hope leading us to the shore will help the rehabilitation and get us ready again when the feet feel the sand.

But boredom may not be the only culprit. The added pressure of keeping one's place - in a sports team, in a tournament, in a business-makes things worse and only hastens the arrival of the eventuality. It will be simplistic to conclude because of the diverse factors that cause a burnout. But for now, the remedy seems to be a break - from all sweat and toil.

I would love your help to make a sequel to this post with your questions and views. 

Yours fashionably,

It is interesting how we are ever quick in taking sides and making conclusive statements.

A few examples. The very same people who were singing praises of Nitish Kumar when he became the Bihar CM are now posting videos of his hypocrisy. I am confused on who is really hypocritical here. Bashing a certain Gandhi or Modi on their alleged wrongdoings, worshiping the latter for his developmental agenda, we always have loved taking sides – to read just the headline and mock the Madras HC on the ‘premarital sex’ verdict or read the case facts fully and interpret it in its context; want Sachin to retire or want him to play on forever; Take SRK’s movie promo as offensive or take it as a light-hearted dig.

I am not sure if it is meaningful to call ourselves liberal in our views if we are so impatient to resort to extremes of the continuum of conclusions. Of course, no one is going to guillotine us for not choosing a side. Are we doing it because a certain opinion is in vogue?

Even if we do it because it is fashionable, out of the blue comes another person with a counter-view in the extreme and a brigade to follow her. We probably have to learn to ignore these issues or even when compelled to make an opinion, it might not be a bad idea to say, “Well, I have to think about it!” J We are not being indecisive or less affirmative by doing this. It is okay to battle it within us to remain suspended in a state of doubt than to express an extreme viewpoint closing all options and making it easier for the world to classify and label us.

Disclaimer: Just a bunch of words. The deeper you dig, the shallower it shall seem J

I am not Them

There needs to be a wave of change. A serious campaign sweeping across continents against stereotyping! Well, just joking :D Negative stereotyping hampers the well-being of an individual. The positive version can bring a civilization down. Choose an Engineer for instance, from a premier college in South India or anywhere in the world, to lead a vital infrastructure project as his/her first. This could be a catastrophic decision if it is based on positive stereotyping.

We get into the trap of assuming and labelling people we meet, because it is convenient to do so. Yes, it is a trap of convenience which makes us lazier. Lazier to think and come to a conclusion. Lazier to make a judgement after investigation based on behavior or historical evidence. Even judgements based on past evidences would be naïve but let’s take for now that we can’t help that if we are to behave in a certain way with that person. We are lazy to think at all. I do not want us to play Sherlock Holmes to deduce the personality of the individual. All that needs to be understood is that we are better ignorant than holding false opinion about other people. What we should not take for granted is the projection of group characteristics on to an individual. Yes, it has been researched upon that a person would have cultural, social identities in addition to the individual identity. But is it right to assume so is what we need to ask ourselves.

The human race itself has certain characteristics which are common but when an alien assumes a sample human would think and respond in a particular fashion, he is wrong. He might be dealing with a cannibal or a serial killer. That humans eat one another for breakfast, lunch and dinner and humans are cold at heart certainly would be disastrous conclusions the alien guy might make. Yes, these are aberrations in the species and when aberrations are more and more, it is best to take ourselves one at a time.

It is much easier to take things together, then classify them based on common traits and study. Makes our job easier in studying other species. What about our own? Let’s leave the right and wrong part of it aside for now. We do not deal or communicate with Class Amphibia or Class Pisces so much as we do with Species Homo sapiens. In fact we do not need them for survival as much as we need ourselves. Hence it becomes important to understand each of us specifically than attribute group characteristics to individuals. Because of what is at stake. 

For instance, in communal or political riots, who is the revenge taken on? Thousands of innocent people die because the other thousand thought they could play avengers. Here we do not see the fight of a few people originally involved. It slowly becomes a clash of ideologies. Now, the revenge is no more targeted on individuals. This is a serious mistake. If we do not change, human race could be the price we pay for it. Until we confirm being the sole thinking beings in the Universe, Us would mean mankind and not any race, religion, caste or creed. Let patriotism mean being proud of world citizenship. Whoopsie! it is starting to sound like a peace sermon.  

I do not wish to conclude this piece in a solid style. Even if I did, I do not want to be judged based on what I write. I did not touch upon positive stereotypes much only because it maybe causing lesser harm. Again, this is an assumption! I can be proud. I may feel sad. I am us and not them.

Disclaimer: Just another bunch of words. The deeper you dig, the shallower it might seem :)

The O.B.E Encounters

                    "We are the best suited to fight the Demons we create"

In this section, I would like to share my nights of what we call an OBE - an Out-of-Body Experience. Also known as Sleep Paralysis(SP) by some, this is outright scary. Experts say OBE paralyses you in sleep but not all episodes of SP are OBE. The key difference between the two is the 'something' that happens outside of you when you are sleeping.

Night 2: Living in a house of strangers is an experience in itself for certain. And if one of the strangers is a concoction of alcoholism, craziness and character disorder, it makes living adventurously interesting. Make no mistake, I am not attributing my 'episode' to bad circumstances this man created. All I want to say is that almost every sleep after his entry into the house was disturbed one way or the other. He would talk gibberish loud enough for you to mistake it to be foreign language; bang on his own door for reasons best known to him; and wail once in a while after hitting against the wall. Sometimes this itself was scary, leave the OBE aside.

One night I hear these all over again but I realised later that I was fast asleep. I laughed with a malignant baritone, so loud that it would drive him away or scare him at least. Instead I lay there on my bed staring straight at the ceiling fan, laughing my head off until I fell 'asleep' again. 

Night 1: This was probably the first time I got an OBE but with no knowledge of what it was. Something held me so tight that I wanted to escape it and cry out loud. Cry because I had an accompanying dream which showed scenes of my grandmother's passing and people who came together to mourn the same. You won't believe me. The very next day, I receive a phone call of the news that she breathed her last. And when I went for the funeral, it was like deja vu. A tingling sensation through my body told that I had been there before. In the dream. 

Night 3: This was a characteristic OBE. I am deeper than ever in sleep and suddenly I see a terrifying demon-like figure walking towards me from the open door of the bedroom. Try as I may, I could not get out of the goddamn quilt. I was aiming to hit the demon and get out of the window (5th floor of the building !). But the figure came closer and closer I could see it. I could see everything clearly in the room. It sat on my chest and held my head with my cheek pressed hard against the pillow. I could not turn! After much effort, pain and determination I wake up "physically". 

I woke up in the morning to research about this and came across the term OBE for the first time. What I found would be helpful for others experiencing those horrifying nights as well.

Do not panic! Acknowledge that you cannot move because you are physically asleep. Once you master this awareness, it would be easy. But this is not easy as it sounds. More than half the trouble is because we are so desperate to prove that we can move because our conscious self is scared that we are paralysed! If this is taken care of, then the experience allegedly becomes an enjoyable outing. 

A little effort in analysing shows that all the narrated instances have a cause. I have always wanted to shout at this madman for disturbing everyone asleep. I have always loved my grand mum and was scared of losing her almost everyday after she fell ill. And I was working real hard and sleep deprived during an Internship.

I have tried deliberately to get into an OBE after these incidents but hardly do they happen out of will. And when they happen, I still struggle but at least I don't try to move anymore. Instead,  I allow the unreal 'me' to fight the demon. 

Disclaimer: If you had same/similar experiences, don't blame me for spying on your dreams :) Instead,  please feel free to share your OBEs too.

Mutant Monkeys, are we?

      “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist”

A Russian billionaire is planning to create Cyborgs out of human brains by 2045. While he works on his Magnum opus, let’s show time what quality means, Yeah!! Is Brain the same thing as Mind and whether it is actually different from what we call ‘Heart’ (not Mr. Heart, CEO, Circulatory system)

Freud introduces 3 gentlemen who create further chaos-Id, Ego and Super-ego. Are these separate from who you are? Can your Ego exist in someone else? Even if my brain is to go into the head of the Cyborg, will that creature behave like me? Will the combination of the three aforementioned entities create an altogether different personality in that cyborg? If the answer is yes, then I am different from this entity.

Our Super-ego, what religion probably calls an Angel, is making you act in morally best ways. Id is pleasure seeking and can be destructive. Our Ego manages both. So is Ego-our Heart, our Conscience, our Mind which is conscious of the good and bad in us? Try as we may, we can never see ourselves different from our Ego. The scary truth may be that I am not my mind, contrary to the popular philosophy that your thought is your existence. 

Sample this now- My brain rationalises (whoops, dangerous assumption boy!) and hence Brain is the Ego we are talking about when making logical decisions. We often say we listen to our Heart when making decisions based on emotion. This is because we perceive the heart to be the life giver, pumping blood day in, day out to all organs. Without it, even the brain can go dry and die. Once that happens, what happens to us?  C’mon we are not dead yet, we are just brain-dead, okay! But do we exist, Yes, we do. So who’s dead? Mr. Mind?

      "The greatest con the Ego ever did was making you believe he was You!” (anon)

Okay, damn Freud, damn the heart, damn the brain, damn the mind. Ok, don’t damn Freud completely, because I need him to hypothesize – What if there was just the Ego and the Super-ego? Oh, wait. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honour now to announce the merger of Id and Ego. Now, we now have two different people – Ego and You (Super-Ego). We've always had just two, yes? – Good/Bad, Positive/Negative, Day/Night, Mom/Dad (oh, this is crazy!). Now don’t be surprised that you are indeed morally good within J.In life, we only agree or disagree with the Ego but never let it rule us. A gentleman of the 6^th century said that the greatest battle was always with your own mind. And it will be.

So, what differentiates us from animals? - Definitely, not the social behaviour. They have fun too-they emote, play around with community friends, go mad over enemies, fall in love and do everything else we do. But..but..but..They don’t dress up! :D Silly as it may sound, they do not really invent things and develop lifestyle as quick as we have done. So are we just Mutant Monkeys who think a little better with each passing generation?

Disclaimer: As always, just a random bunch of words. Don’t dig deep ‘cause it will only get shallower as you do J

We Were Young !

Hi there Ladies and Gentlemen who were Boys and Girls years back, No one travels faster than light, so let's slow down a bit and talk. Please :)

We need to stop feeling as if we got to see the best things and subsequent generations shall be missing them. The things that you enjoyed once, changed because they had to. The producers got bored of making the same things over and again and so did the consumers. Cartoon network was good when you were a kid, not just because you had Swat Kats, Captain Planet, Jonny Quest and Tintin running on it! It was because you were A KID. Period

The same logic applies to why you love(d) gully cricket, video games, WWF (and to some extent WWE). Thanks to our never-quenching thirst to watch the same things we used to, even The Undertaker is tired of making comebacks!

Now that you have grown up, you see something’s changed on CN and you want to badly relive those times. And you hate CN for that? Mind you, the target audience has changed its preference. The current school goer still loves it – from Ben10 to Power Rangers, Bheem to Doraemon. Naseeruddin Shah or Akshay Kumar, NSYNC or Metallica, there is a market for everything. People like Moony Deol (of course, first name changed) make action movies till date not because they are bored or they feel the need to register their purses for a weight loss program. They simply sense the existence of an audience for their movies. Why should they miss the profit bus just because their reach is not as wide?

The bottomline is that we do not miss those ‘things’. C’mon, will we watch the aforementioned cartoon series if telecast now? Maybe sporadically but the truth is that we want to watch those things when we are back home from school with mom-made fruit juice in hand. So what do we miss? We know the answer J

Disclaimer: Offensive or Not, I do not mean anything written in any of the posts in this blog. They are just a bunch of words to be read for fun J

No Light, No Tunnel !

There is something interesting about the world and we are very much part of the thing that makes it interesting. No one travels faster than light, so let’s slow down a bit and talk if that is okay J

What is the real purpose of life? The answer is like sets of earphones lying on the table. You try to pick them up in haste and you end up spending the longest time in understanding the intertwined mess. We have to spot the loose ends and take it from there so patiently that it is worth the effort and time.

Well, in my opinion, there is no real purpose in life. So what do we do when there is nothing to live for? We invent a purpose and work towards fulfilling it. That is the root cause of the rise of different faiths and philosophies. This is why we debate all life to decide the best philosophy.

God ('G' since He, oops, G is neither male nor female ) like everything else on earth is equally confusing. Had G come down to earth once or showed Himself up in the giant Imax screen that the sky is and showed clear signs that G exists, at least once since the beginning of time, the scenario would have been much different. Instead, He left it to the imagination of the human species to figure out What created them! How cruel! Adding to this confusion is the list of people who lived amongst us giving unclear messages. That is exactly why we require something like a miracle from these fellas to confirm their superior rank. Each faith has defined its own purpose of life. We fear the Unknown and become Believers. If we did not believe in G, it would be a lawless world. It is lawless anyway. At least, we are better off than Beliebers (Justin Bieber fans!)

Life's purpose is to create a purpose and add meaning to it by living it fully. We have a lifetime to think about it :)